Bears need an awful lot of food to keep themselves going—and they’re not altogether picky. While Polar Bears are generally carnivorous and the Pandiren feed exclusively on bamboo, Druid Bears will happily snack on berries, meat, and ice cream before loping off for a beat down. As any nutritionally aware ursine knows, you are what you eat—and it’s important to make sure you’re scarfing down the right stuff to perform your best. In Northrend, this is especially true. Cold climes automatically flip on the “want to Hibernate” switch, and without a veritable furnace keeping the ol’ metabolism going, it’s all too easy to pass out before raid. 
Fortunately, the latest Adventurer Chefs have discovered a myriad array of foodstuffs to be made from native Northrend ingredients and have published their experimental findings. While my Cooking might only be 375, I went out on a limb for bears everywhere and whipped up some tasty morsels to power us through our quest to 80.
The Rhinolicious Wyrmsteak promises a full-flavored kick in the ass, complete with the added bonus of 40 STA and 40 Expertise. Pair your teeth licking steak with some smoky, vitamin packed vegetables, a cool glass of Kungaloosh, and you’re looking at the perfect way to kick back and relax your furry butt before punching Arthas in the junk. With only a small amount of hunting and gathering, you too can experience the flavors of Northrend—a few days in advance. Stay tuned next week for Phaelia’s tree-flavored installment!
Rhinolicious Wyrmsteak
- 2 Thin (Rhino) Steaks (breakfast varieties work well)
- 1/3 pound Chorizo (squishy Worm Meat)
- ½ cup of white rice
- 1 ½ cup beef broth
- 4 green onions, chopped in half
- ½ Vidalia onion, diced
- 1 tsp. Butter
- Generous amount of Black Pepper, Salt, Oregano and Red Pepper Flakes (Northrend Spices)
To start out, pour the beef broth into a medium sized pan, add the diced Vidalia onion, and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to Medium and add the rice. Cover and let simmer. You’ll need to stop questing and stir this shit every once in awhile. This stuff will probably take about 20 minutes to soften into normal rice. Uncover, and let cool.
While your rice is cooking, prepare your Worm Meat. In a small frying pan, break the Worm Meat into crumbles and cook through. Once that’s done, add it to the rice and save the drippings.
Your Rhino Steaks are waiting. Rub both steaks with a handful of the Northrend Spices. On a clean cutting board, lay out the steaks. You’re going to take the rice, complete with Worm Meat, and lay a generous portion out on one end of each steak. Add 4 halves of the green onions to each filling. Slowly, roll each of the steaks into a tube shape and tie tightly using butcher’s string. Cover in the remaining Worm drippings, and broil the steaks (remember: these are thin!) in the oven until cooked through.
Smoky Tubers and Roots
- 1 can cut Green Beans
- 1 small can of vacuum packed corn
- ½ cup sliced carrots
- 1/3 pound diced bacon
- 1 tsp. minced garlic
- 1 tsp. red pepper flakes
Add about ½ teaspoon of olive oil to a warm frying pan (high heat). Drop the teaspoon of minced garlic into the pan and let it fry for a minute. Add the chopped bacon. Stir fry for a minute, and then add the carrots. Let soften slightly. Upend the entire can of green beans into the frying pan (including some of the water). Add the corn. Cover the pan and stir occasionally. Continue heating on Medium until an even flavor is established. Add salt to taste.
Kungaloosh
- 2 cups of pulp free OJ
- Splash of Grenadine
- 1/2 cup of Bacardi Grand Melon
- 1 cup of crushed pineapple with juices
- 1 cup of mixed berries (strawberry, raspberry, blackberry)
This isn’t your Disney Safariventure drink, kids. Combine all of the above ingredients in the blender, smash to bits, and get hammered. You can use coconut rum + Midori instead of the Bacardi Grand Melon.
Serve the steaks on a plate garnished with the tubers & roots and any rice that might be leftover from stuffing.
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