Unbearably HoT

If, when you make a movie, TV show, or video game your only end-goal is to sell a product to the end-user, you’re doing it wrong. To really cash in and make your media-event legendary, you need a moderately unique idea that has broad-spectrum appeal and a vocal fan-base. Why? Anyone can roll out a product that a few people will buy (ala Vanguard: Saga of Heroes), but if you’re a real market-savvy motherfucker, you know that you want consumers buying your lunchboxes, t-shirts, comic books, pins, plushies, card games, convention tickets, bed sheets—you get the idea. You want an Empire so vast that your fans will quietly grumble, gloss over the inadequacies, and chide the non-believers with a simple “I find your lack of faith disturbing” when you follow your original work with mediocre sequels. Please see the Matrix Reloaded, Star Wars Episodes I-III and Halo Wars.

More than anything else, you want to keep people talking. You need to skim over the hordes of blogs, speculative research, terrible fanfiction, and fanmade monstrosities because they represent Your People. Your People aren’t interested in the money, but rather the product and the direction it will take in the future—they are your glorified cash cows, and it would do you well to keep them well-groomed and fat. Don’t get me wrong; following that formula isn’t necessarily the path one takes to create a “perfect product”—just a well-marketed one. Keeping the masses happy, however, doesn’t always require pandering—just a healthy dose of watchful minding and respect.

We can argue all day whether Blizzard has been feeding casual-cows and destroying the challenge of the game in direct proportion to a rise in profits, but they do a more-than-acceptable job in reaching out to the community. They read our blogs. They regularly publicize fanart and recently championed a creative writing contest. There are a number of in-game tributes to helpful players (see: Phaelia’s Vestments of the Sprouting Seed and quest-reward items named after DK beta testers), memorials (think: Ezra Chatterton), geek-culture references, regular responses to fan-questions and demands via forums, GM visits, Blizzcon—really, we WoW players are a pretty lucky (and simultaneously gullible) bunch.

Why risk invoking the ire of the Internet community that so celebrates the machine by threatening creative fans with legal action? I’ve been pondering that very question since I heard that Shakes & Fidget, makers of an e-famous WoW comic, were hit with a Cease & Desist order. I cannot pretend to know the fine-details, even with the ability to read German, but I fail to see the problem with what’s essentially a “free” comic that popularizes Blizzard’s universe. “But they’re making money from merchandise and advertising!” the finger-wagglers wail, “Blizzard has every right to stop them!” This is correct, if indeed S&F are making money from the comic. I am not totally convinced.

Blizzard has the right to make sure that no one else makes money off of their copyrighted material—but the real question is whether folks like Shakes & Fidget are in any way, shape, or form cutting into the deck of Blizzard’s profits. Are they feasting off a glut of Euros, or are they funding hosting costs for their WoW-tribute comic? Is it even enough revenue to be taxed? Are they selling merchandise that directly competes with a 2nd party vendor like J!NX? I could be wrong. Maybe Blizzard isn’t worried (and shouldn’t be, for that matter) about the monetary aspect, but rather find that comics such as S&F’s “defame” their image. Straight from Blizzard’s legalese:

“…Also, we reserve the right to revoke this limited use license at any time, for any reason, and at the sole discretion of Blizzard Entertainment®. You may not use our materials on sites that feature defamatory, pornographic, or inflammatory content, including, but not limited to, hacks and cheats for any of our games or any other content that Blizzard Entertainment® find objectionable or unlawful.”

Judging from the general content of said comic, we can rule out “defamatory,” “pornographic,” and “inflammatory.” I also haven’t stumbled across any private servers at S&F’s website, nor have I found any roll-hacking mods. Blizzard—or shall I say ActivisionBlizzard—has seemingly invoked the “for any reason” clause. To what purpose? The new add-on policy (although arguably harmless) coupled with these first-tier Cease & Desist orders seem to represent an ever-darkening cloud on the horizon, and I’m admittedly a little worried. S&F wasn’t the first (as the creators of the WoW iPhone applications can attest to), and they won’t be the last. Who’s next? Penny Arcade? LFG? Astrylian, the creator of Rawr? Me? For once, I’m glad I’m not nearly that popular.

You, as a reader and as a consumer, should be upset about this. ActivisionBlizzard is more than willing to lap up the monthly subscription fees, transfer and name change dollars, Arena Tournament entry costs, Blizzcon ticket sales, and extensive merchandising opportunities, but may be increasingly tight-fisted when it comes to “sharing” their World. Blizzard’s content is not only enriched by new hardware and a slick design team, but also by the tremendous support and ancillary creativity of the players who populate it.

Noblegarden is spectacular—a true vision of Azeroth at its finest. I only had to snag my first egg from the cotton-tailed clutches of a Hunter-turned-rabbit to receive a stream of grammatically incorrect vitriol. I love this. First of all, I’m terribly sorry that you can’t click as quickly as I can. Second, I’m disappointed that your retorts are neither clever nor funny. Third, you have only inspired me to poach as many eggs from you as I possibly can while simultaneously reporting and throwing you on ignore.

That’s beside the point. This newly-revamped in-game holiday is awesome for ERPers and fans of collecting scandalous and/or useless costumes. For all of you over-achievers who have no compunctions about sitting and doing completely mundane and occasionally frustrating things for hours on end, this is the shit for you. Fortunately, even if you’re completely unlucky, you can complete all the achievements for the meta (i.e. the mini-achievements that will get you the Noble title) using the Noblegarden Chocolates you find in the Brightly Colored Eggs. Unfortunately, that can take some time. Here’s a quick look of what you need if you want only the meta:

• Spring Rabbit’s Foot: 100 chocolates
• Spring Flowers: 50 chocolates
• Noblegarden Egg: 5 chocolates
• White Tuxedo Shirt: 25 chocolates
• Black Tuxedo Pants: 25 chocolates
• Spring Robes: 50 chocolates
• 110 extra chocolates: this fulfills your initial quest to get your Easter Basket and also nets you a stomachache and the Chocoholic achievement.

That’s a total of 365 eggs. What about the Spring Circlet and Elegant Robes? Technically, you don’t need those. The ears are totally just for fun (and for the record, you can use your Spring Flowers to put the ears on yourself) and you only need to find another person wearing the dress to get your Blushing Bride achievement done. So how the fuck do you get all those eggs? The best thing you can do is find a decent spot to camp out and stand around like a champ until they do. Here’s my suggestion: Dolanaar. I pick this not because I’m a Night Elf, but mostly because it has potential to be “less crowded,” and also because I found really awesome spawn points there. 

When you get to the Inn, go around to the left side near the Stable Master. 

One egg spawns on top of the wooden doodad, one egg spawns behind the wooden doodad, and another spawns in the bushes. You can position yourself in such a fashion (all up ons the Stable Master) that you can grab each of these eggs in rapid succession when they spawn. It’s not fun. You do this because you want the stupid title and potentially a proto in your future, and you must understand that it’s more boring than fishing. The rest of the achievements end up being very self-explanatory.

While I’m at it, let it be known that I updated the Ulduar DPS Loot List, and let me direct you all to a new Priest blog called “Maintaining Discipline.” Laney is a Holy/Disc Priest, one of ECR’s raid leaders, and just so happened to find some inspiration lately to start a blog. Go offer some words of encouragement! 

And sadly, just as we welcome another blogger to the ever-expanding sphere, another leaves. Megan, from Out of Mana, is stepping down and pursuing other worthwhile life experiences. I recommend pole-dancing and makeouts. Drop her a line, wish her good-luck, and parse through her old entries full of advice, biting wit, and “slick” graphics. Take care, yo.

Penwiper, from Twisting Nether, recently sent me this e-mail:

Dear Runy,

I’d like to start out by saying I really enjoy reading your blog and the great articles that I can get here from time to time. I found out about your website from Phae’s site and the recent blogcast.

I wanted to get your opinion on the current state of Feral tanking and its uniqueness: a fairly coherent and clear post was written on the Beta forums (http://blue.mmo-champion.com/2/9956326946-snarfsnarf-speaks-help-save-feral-tanking.html) and the author made a list of points that the feral druid is not unique anymore and furthermore, brings less to the table than a warrior.

Being more of a pessimist and also having seen the ongoing continuous lessening of our talents and abilities during the last couple of weeks, I wholeheartedly agree with this studied criticism of Blizzard’s seeming determination to bring feral tank players to their metaphorical knees.

Do you think that there will be a further development of our abilities, which Ghostcrawler had mentioned that have not yet fully been looked at or should we grit our teeth and start looking at primarily the restoration or balance trees?

Sincerely,

Penwiper

Firstly, thanks for the compliment and I’m wholeheartedly glad that you enjoy reading my site (and occasionally get something out of it). Secondly, I apologize for how long it’s taken me to get back to you, but I just realized that my site’s e-mail account wasn’t properly forwarding (and thus I’m now backlogged in spam and various other commentary). 

Obviously, the tank homogenization controversy is something I’ve followed very closely and have detailed in the past. I find Snarfsnarf’s miniature dissertation a little grating and difficult to read, but it is essentially correct—while simultaneously disregarding the fact that playing a Protection Warrior in BC was a chore, and that Protection Paladins have been scrambling for appropriate gear and dying for main tankadin viability. 

I believe that Blizzard has made a series of misassumptions:

1. That Druids wanted to competitively DPS or MT.
2. That Druids were not capable of MTing nearly all content. 
3. That by making tanks the same they would encourage raid groups to take them based on ability rather than class.

Players pick their class (and race, in many cases) for specific reasons: appearance, racials, talents, spells, potential raidspot—whatever. I, for example, chose a Druid partially because I thought it was cool to change into things, but also because I knew that it meant I could perform a variety of roles. Ghostcrawler’s “master of none” statement is wildly incorrect—we are the masters of versatility, able to occupy multiple roles in one raid group. I absolutely loved the fact that I could off tank, main tank, and offer reasonable melee DPS when necessary. If I had wanted to be The Best at melee DPS, I would have rolled a Rogue or a DPS Warrior (and indeed, I have). 

Blizzard also seems to think that Druids were incapable of tanking certain content based on class restrictions. Is this true? Sort of. Certain encounters do tend to rely on abilities that Paladins and Warriors have (i.e. Shield Block, Shield Bash, some sort of Fear Break, etc.), but using a Druid to tank them doesn’t make them impossible—just more challenging. I’m reasonably certain that Druids have MT’d every boss in the game, including Illidan (by utilizing a Warrior Intervene rotation). Blizzard wants to eliminate those “challenges” in WotLK, and seeks to level the metaphorical playing field. This isn’t bad, just disappointing.

Finally, I still think that class will make raid groups pick up one tank over another—and perhaps not for the best reasons. With the new “dual spec” functionality, wouldn’t it be great to take a tank with you who could turn around and double as either: a healer, melee DPS, caster DPS? Paladins are the only other tanks who have a similar hybrid functionality that will be available in a few keystrokes. In my mind, this still relegates Paladins and Druids (and Death Knights) to OT positions. 

So yes, by improving Warriors in such a way that Protection is an incredibly desirable and potentiallymore fun talent spec (without a caster/healer offspec), I do believe that good Warriors will still be in incredibly high demand. That being said, remember that the recent Druid nerfs came as a result of Level 80 Druids being ridiculously kickass tanks—so much so that no one else could compare. Sounds pretty good to me. The changes, thus, have just been to normalize our abilities and put us more in line with the rest of the tanks—although whether this means we’re now below the line remains to be seen.

I cannot, however, believe that Blizzard would refuse to make changes if a distinct gap exists between Druids and the rest of the tanks at level 80 once Wrath goes live. They have made a strident, documented commitment to equalizing capabilities, and going back on that now doesn’t seem a likely path. Additionally, while I am frustrated with the course that Feral Druids are being pushed along, it’s important to remember that Blizzard’s developers are not looking to bring “us to our metaphorical knees.” 

As a Feral Druid blogger, I am naturally biased to my particular class and spec—but I try to keep some measure of perspective. We are losing our traditional niche and sharing some token abilities that previously colored our advantage, but we need to take a serious look at what we’re gaining. We need to rise to the occasion and make sure that our tanking skill outclasses everyone else. We need to stop bemoaning our losses and pick up that Mantle of Versatility, acknowledging that our new “niche” may include dependable tanking and switching specs at the drop of a hat. Maybe Warriors really will be the cat’s pajamas in terms of tanking—but can they take off their shield, turn around, DPS, heal, and do all of those things well? 

I sincerely doubt it. 

Make some Bank space and prepare to whore gear. 

 

 

I haven’t always raided on a druid. I mostly have. There was, however, a brief span of time soon after Burning Crusade’s release in which Awen’s guild leader decided we didn’t need a Feral Druid—we needed more Warriors. You know, those losers who stand around with cool weapons and shields. This, of course, necessitated that I bring my Fury specced Level 52 alt up to raiding standards in about a week and a half’s time and somehow become a tanking champion in less than that (that process, of course, was how I met Lycentia, and that is another story altogether). Obviously, I’ve since picked my Druid back up with a certain sort of zeal and never looked back. Until now.

I think raiders like Kalon, who have played every tanking class in the game, would agree that part of the fun in tanking on different characters is that they’re each inherently different. We all know that Warriors have primarily occupied the Main Tank role, that Paladins are the Kings and Queens of AOE tanking, and that Druids are pretty much the sexiest beasts to hit the scene. We all have our niches. Despite the obvious differences—Rage v. Mana, Giant Bear v. Corpsesled—each class has abilities that function with similar purposes. “Similar” is really the key word there: close enough to get the job done, but different enough that each has a class specific perk. Want examples? Sure!

How do tanks address issues where aggro has been transferred to a ranged player (whether by pulling or inadvertent proximity)? While certain stupidities warrant standing by and letting a retard or two die, there are reasonably quick ways in which tanks can get their shiny asses over to the errant mob in question:

Warrior
Intervene
Has an 8-25 yard range and enables the Warrior to “run at high speed towards a party member, intercepting the next melee or ranged attack made against them” and has a 30 second cooldown. 10 Rage.

Paladin
Righteous Defense
Has a 40 yard range and enables the Paladin to “come to the defense of a friendly target, commanding up to 3 enemies attacking the target to attack the Paladin instead” and has a 15 second cooldown. 4% of base mana.

Druid
Feral Charge
Has an 8-25 yard range and “causes you to charge an enemy, immobilizing and interrupting any spell being cast for 4 seconds” and has a 15 second cooldown. 5 Rage.

While Paladins clearly have the easiest job here—LOL I PUSH THIS BUTTON AND MONSTERS RUN OVER—each ability allows the tank to gain control over enemies at range to varying degrees of effectiveness. The Paladin and Warrior variations immediately remove a friendly player from harm, and Feral Charge gets you over there, potentially interrupts, and then requires a little finagling. Tanks might grumble a little about who has what, but ultimately, I think that most are fairly happy with what they’ve got. They chose their class, afterall.

Fast forward to Wrath of the Lich King. Blizzard seeks to homogenize the tanking classes, level the playing field, and make sure that no one chooses a tank based on their class rather than their ability (which begs the question of why you’d roll one over another, but that’s another story). Druids clamored for a Last Stand ability because they essentially had no oh-shit buttons to push save trinkets and the woefully poor Frenzied Regeneration ability. They got it in the form of Berserk, and Blizzard tossed in the ability to use potions and items in animal forms. Great, right? At first glance, that starts putting us on even footing with the other tanks. But what did Warriors get?

Warbringer
A 41 point talent in the Protection tree that allows Charge to be used in combat, and in any stance. It’s basically Feral Charge—except it doesn’t cost Rage, it generates Rage. Warriors have thus gained an ability to increase their mobility outside the 30 second Intervene cooldown.

Enraged Regeneration
A level 75 Fury spell, Enraged Regeneration costs 15 Rage, operates on a 3 minute cooldown, and regenerates 30% of your total health over 10 seconds. The ability requires an Enrage effect, consumes all Enrage effects, and prevents any from affecting you for the full duration. Activate Bloodrage and win. Sound a little familiar? I thought so.

Improved Thunder Clap
This base Warrior ability “blasts nearby enemies increasing the time between their attacks by 10% for 30 seconds and doing 300 damage to them. Damage increased by attack power. This abilities causes additional threat and will affect up to four targets,” and can be augmented with 3/3 Improved Thunder Clap, which “reduces the cost of your Thunder Clap ability by 4 Rage points and increase the damage by 100% and the slowing effect by an additional 10%.”

I firmly believe that TC will become a staple damage ability for Warriors in much the same way that Swipe and Consecration work for Druids and Paladins respectively. We Druids were tickled by the idea of Infected Wounds, and here comes an improvement to the original that makes ours look pretty pitiful. Compare to the level 77 Swipe and Level 80 Consecration.

While there are precious few new Paladin abilities that even remotely resemble current Druid abilities, Paladins have picked up a familiar spell:

Shield of Righteousness
A Holy spell, Shield of Righteousness is learned at level 75 and “slams the target with your shield, causing Holy damage equal to 240% of your block value. This spell causes a high amount of threat.” Not only can Paladins chuck their shield ala Captain America, they can now punch people in the face with it. Warriors might recognize this as a spell damage based Shield Slam.

I haven’t even taken Death Knights into consideration here, and the above abilities are just a sampling. What’s your point, Runy? While on the surface many of these spells seem like welcome additions to any tank’s arsenal, I’m left wondering what modicum of uniqueness we’ll be left with. I stare at my outdated Warrior and wonder why I’m trying to play my Druid in the expansion when my Warrior will be given my Druid’s tools—and then some. I carefully examine the Paladin Protection tree and marvel at the solid base of talents to choose from, and find myself mentally transforming my Holy Paladin into a tank. I’m not excited about any of the Druid changes anymore, and I think it’s because some of them feel so familiar.

In a move that will likely bore raiders to tears and appease the raving masses, Blizzard seeks to make tanking more accessible by increasing damage dealt and handing each class a similar skillset (with Druids currently holding the short end of the branch…er…stick). How difficult will it be when we can all push the EZ buttons and win? Will tanking really require any sort of acumen anymore? Are Druids going to be the biggest challenge? I wonder. Think about applying Blizzard’s approach to sex: everyone gets the same moves and you’ve got to choose the best one when they’re all doing the same thing. Do you really want the Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma’am-One-Trick-Pony every day? It sure gets the job done, right? Does that make it good?

Streamlining doesn’t always make things better; sometimes it’s just “efficient.”