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[A US-PVE, Doomhammer] Dread Lobster Seeks Stellar Raiders!

Posted in Dread Lobster on Dec 03, 2008 with 9 Comments →


It’s that time again: countless masses are gorging themselves on laser chickens, chopping down Christmas trees, stringing up lights, dusting off menorahs, carefully wrapping gifts for clever little crushtaceans, and submitting applications to Dread Lobster. That’s right! Do you have someone on your Christmas list who sounds like this?

  • Incredibly clever or sassy
  • Able to tackle Heroics and raid instances in a single bound
  • Can eloquently recite eight million reasons why his or her talent spec is the best suited for raiding
  • Enjoys constructive and informed praise and criticism
  • Min/maxes his or her performance to a degree that most consider ridiculous
  • Yearns to diligently raid four nights a week and collect sweet epix
  • Has a boner for Malygos and agrees that Baron Rivendare has a certain panache
  • Knows that Ur is an ancient city, not a word
  • Has reached level 80 and wants more-than-competent 80 buddies

Do your friend (or yourself!) a favor this holiday season and give the gift of lobster. If Bubba Claws thinks you’ve been a good little raider, an officer from Dread Lobster will contact you on his behalf. He’s particularly interested in:

  • Ranged DPS
  • Non-Priest Healers

Have any other questions before you fulfill your holiday wishlist? Drop me a line and we’ll talk.

Apply today!

Dread Lobster (A) (US-PVE) Now Recruiting Players for Makeouts and High Fives! Crushtaceans Unite!

Posted in Blog, Dread Lobster, Raiding on Sep 10, 2008 with 8 Comments →

Tired of the personnel logistics involved in 25-man raiding? Anxious to fine tune your reflexes for a competitive 10-man environment in Wrath of the Lich King? Do you want to combat the pre-expansion ennui by establishing roots with experienced raiders? Unopposed to the idea of playing multiple characters to better suit a particular encounter? Have a healthy sense of humor? Enjoy politics and unnecessarily large words? Confused as to whether or not crustaceans are truly underwater insects or kings of the sea? Do you want an [Amani War Bear]? 

Shit, so does everyone. Get in line. But if you’ve answered “Yes” to any of the above questions, Dread Lobster might be for you! Dread Lobster seeks folks with a combination of raid experience and unique personalities to develop a synergistic group of players for Wrath of the Lich King.

Straight from our FAQ:

What exactly is Dread Lobster?

Dread Lobster is a Doomhammer (Alliance, US PVE) guild established to prepare its members for raiding progression in WotLK. Although many of us have experience in T6, including Sunwell Plateau, our focus is on positioning the guild for fast-paced 10-man progression in the upcoming expansion.

What activities does Dread Lobster currently host?

Dread Lobster does not currently run any regular raids, but when there is interest we occasionally run Kara or farm up another [Amani War Bear] with our friends. As summer comes to an end, we hope to expand our ranks and possibly our schedule as well, but the focus at present is on preparing alts, professions, stockpiling mats/wealth and researching Beta.

How will Dread Lobster be run once WotLK is released and raiding begins?

Our goal at Dread Lobster is to create a strong, competitive raiding corps capable of swift progression through 10 man content. To that end, standards of play and contribution will be high, but not unreasonable. All members will be expected to do their part in playing to the best of their abilities, constantly seeking to improve those abilities, and ensuring that they are always prepared for content. Members should be prepared to receive and offer constructive, informed criticism.

Dread Lobster’s raiding schedule will ultimately consist of no more than four scheduled nights of raiding (more or less 6 PM server time or later). Standards for attendance will be high, but not inflexible. We recognize that our members may have lives outside of the game and will strive to facilitate this while also ensuring that the commitments made to the guild are respected and honored when possible.

Loot will be handled with a rigid DKP system, though the exact nature has yet to be determined. It is our experience that the most important features of DKP are transparency, equity and consistency, all of which will be reflected in the system we ultimately adopt.

I love seafood! How do I join?

If all of this sounds marvy to you, please submit an application by following the instructions in the stickied Application Template. We’ll be in touch if our interest is piqued!

Get in on the action today and become part of the Dread Lobster foundation! Questions can be directed in game to Tomyris, on our forums to any of the officers, or right here to me (yes, I am an officer). 


Note that we are especially interested in dedicated healers. Apply today!


Not quite dead yet!

Posted in Blog, Cataclysm, Rant on May 12, 2011 with 15 Comments →

When we last met, I had forsaken my subscription and had moved on to other things. Of course, I don’t really remember what those particular things were, but the point is that life suddenly developed a new busyness. Seemingly overnight, I metamorphosed into the kind of person whose crankiness knew no bounds if she didn’t get to sleep sometime before midnight. How lame!  Thus for a time, I resigned myself to the drone of corporate life punctuated by brief sprees of gaming and occasional weekend badassery:

  • playing D&D and painting miniatures;
  • flirting with AION;
  • attending PAX East and Prime;
  • trashing a novel I’d been working on;
  • boating;
  • taking copy editing classes;
  • purchasing large quantities of Mackinac Island fudge;
  • adopting another cat; and, most recently,
  • building a house.

But let’s be real—you don’t spend an inordinate amount of time playing a game, involving yourself in that community, and then writing about it without eventually being sucked back in. At some point I caved and spent the last gasps of Wrath raiding on Mal’ganis, waiting for Cataclysm. As tradition in our apartment dictates, Mortality and I immediately power-leveled to eighty-five when the expansion released. Even after taking a cramped nap on the loveseat, the entire leveling process took less than eighteen hours. Eighteen hours! Chagrined, my husband and I flopped around Orgrimmar for a while, brought our professions to max, tried to get into heroic dungeon groups as two melee DPS[i], and then started the endless process of completing daily quests for reputation gains. Perhaps some of you are familiar with this cycle.

But though Blizzard’s pre-60 leveling experience in Cataclysm drastically improved, the end game suddenly alienated me: I was stymied by familiar content, uninterested in raiding, and wholeheartedly dismayed by the seeming return of melee as a liability. I was completely un-enamored with both the expansion and—for the first time—my class. Faced with the prospect of turning into the type of casual, cranky player I’d always despised, I simply unsubscribed. Again.[ii] I washed my electronic hands of the game, cleaned out my RSS feed, scornfully derided the sad state of feral druids, and sneered at the resurrection of Zul’Gurub and Zul’Aman[iii]—two dungeons I had been more than happy to leave behind.

What then? I started playing Rift. It’s a fantastic game with a development team quick to respond to feedback generated by the player base, and while it’s certainly not without its flaws, the game has incorporated and improved upon some of the most successful elements from other MMOs. The community, however, needs time to grow. As Mortality tried and discarded Rift and my fellow gamer-friends dispersed to different shards, my journeys in Telara became largely solitary ones. One afternoon, while hunched over my keyboard obliterating Guardians,[iv] Mortality casually sidled up to my chair. “I’m going to reactivate my WoW subscription,” he said benignly.

Kids, this is a trap. When a super-hot dude drops the “Hey I’m going to play—” line on you, he casts some voodoo nerd spell and somehow you’ve entered your credit card information and fished out your authenticator before you even register what happened. “Oh god,” you say, “why am I in Stormwind again?”

Stormwind indeed. Mortality and I have reconnected with some old players and real-life friends from (the now defunct) Dread Lobster. This change of play locates us back on Doomhammer, Alliance-side, effectively stranding us from our mains. My old roster boasts an array of characters stuck at level seventy—my ancient warrior, a neglected death knight, a sad looking frost mage—and a holy paladin that miraculously made it past eighty. In the interests of new beginnings[v] I’m leveling another druid.[vi] In the meantime, I’m healing heroics on my paladin.[vii]

Although it will take a little while to grind my way back up to eighty-five (I’m halfway there) and gather the necessary druidly accoutrements, I’m back. Expect more content to follow.

Total party kill!

[i] Which was apparently a joke at the time.

[ii] According to Activision Blizzard’s recent earnings call, so did 600,000 other players. They seem to want to blame this on a dearth of content, but I imagine it has a lot to do with an exhausted player base that really wants to see something new.

[iii] Listen, I’ve heard plenty of people champion the supposed awesomeness of troll lore. To those people, all I have to say is “Gonk.”

[iv] Rift has, like many MMOs, two factions at odds with one another. Guardians are the chosen of the realm’s gods and are fighting both to defeat Regulos and to stop the Defiant from stripping Telara of sourcestone. They are totally lame. The Defiants choose to ignore the gods and instead focus on building machines powered by sourcestone, which can, in many circumstances, replicate the power of the gods. 

[v] And, more accurately, to save the money that I’d have to pay to faction and realm transfer.

[vi] Yes, another one.

[vii] Which, for the record, kind of sucks. Distance-limited AOE HoT? Frontal cone AOE that requires charges of Holy Power? Healing multiple targets is miserable. Why do people actually play healers on a full-time basis?


Revelations 6:1-8 The Four Horsemen

Posted in Guide, Raiding on Dec 02, 2008 with 9 Comments →

Most, if not all boss encounters in both normal and heroic Naxxramas are relatively straight forward: DPS beats things, the tanks generate threat, healers play the bar graph game, and everyone makes sure they’re not standing in shit on the ground. Sure, there are tricks and gimmicks to everything; for example, kiting the Zombie Chow during Gluth’s encounter (if you have the tools to do it) is much easier on healers than standing there and letting 85 damage-increasing diseases (no exaggeration) stack on you.


But it rather goes without saying that waltzing into the Four Horsemen’s chamber without knowing what’s up essentially sets you up for failure. To that end, I’ve outlined a two-healer strategy for the 10-man encounter that involves a series of first-grade drawings. Use at your own peril, and note that updates and tweaking will follow.


For reference purposes, colors and numbers are as follows:

  • 1 = Lady Blaumeux
  • 2 = Thane Kor’Thazz
  • 3 = Baron Rivendare
  • 4 = Sir Zeliek
  • Red = Bosses
  • Brown = Warrior (substitute another melee tank if you’d like)
  • Orange = Bear Druid (substitute another melee tank if you’d like)
  • White = Healers
  • Yellow = DPS
  • Blue = Ranged DPS Tanks



For a comprehensive list of all Horsemen abilities, I recommend checking out Wowhead. All you need to know is that each Horseman can indefinitely stack a “Mark” on you if you’re within a 55 yard range that exponentially deals Shadow damage. You do not want multiple Marks from different Death Knights, and you need to make sure you’re not letting more than three stack on you at any given time.


Other notable abilities to watch out for:

  • Meteor. Hey guys, remember the anubisath in AQ40 and that guy who always lagged and died? Thane Kor’thazz’s Meteor functions in a very similar way. He casts this bitch frequently and it does a stupid amount of fire damage (upwards of 50,000) split between everyone within 8 yards. As you can imagine, stacking your DPS with whichever tank is on Thane is a stellar idea. Because of this  ability and the way you need to rotate tanks and Death Knights, Thane needs to go down immediately.
  • Void Zone. Another basic DON’T STAND IN THE FIRE ability. Think Netherspite. Lady Blaumeux summons these at random intervals, and as you can imagine, you don’t want to keep standing around inside of it. The ranged tank on Blaumeux needs to be on the look out.
  • Holy Bolt. Zeliek enjoys chaining Holy damage to fry people. While this ability isn’t a major issue while only a tank is on him, as soon as the DPS moves to kill him, they need to spread out as much as possible to avoid chaining more damage than is actually necessary.


Step 1

Everyone can assume their respective positions around the room before the Horsemen are pulled; this involves getting cozy with the wall. When the melee tanks initiate the event, each horseman pulls to his or her respective corner where each tank needs to pick them up. Note the position of the healers: the tanks on Blaumeux and Zeliek need to be tanking at max range, and the two tanks on Kor’thazz and Rivendare can’t shove themselves in the corner. The healer positions guarantee that they can hit each corner without taking multiple marks from different Death Knights.


All DPS starts by the tank on Kor’Thazz, in the case of my diagram, by the Warrior. Because Kor’Thazz’s Meteor deals much of the raid wide damage, your DPS needs to be spot on and nuke the shit out of him instantly: cooldowns, Heroism if you have it, explosionkapow! etc. In an ideal world, Kor’Thazz is killed before the first switch or at least after the second. It’s imperative that everyone stays grouped up to mitigate his Meteor damage, and whenever a transition is about to occur (covered in Step 2), melee needs to hover near the pick-up tank to diffuse the damage.


Step 2

The Horsemen will all be casting their respective marks of blah, Rivendare and Kor’Thazz with more frequency than their counterparts. Once each tank has his or her third mark, it’s time to pull the ol’ switcharoo. The melee tanks will move to the middle of the path where the arrows intersect and Taunt. In effect, the melee tanks do nothing except pull a different Death Knight back to their original corners. DPS stays with the first tank to let their marks wear off and gets some damage in on Rivendare. The tank left alone with Kor’Thazz (me, lol) takes considerable damage and will likely use cooldowns during that period of time to diffuse healer angst. Barkskin is great to save for transitions.


The two ranged tanks will also switch after every third mark is cast, but instead of taunting and pulling the Horsemen to separate corners, only the tanks will switch. If you’re not savvy to watching your own debuffs, at least make sure you have a boss timer type mod to facilitate knowing when marks will hit. Rinse and repeat.


Step 3

Kor’Thazz DIES. Sweet! The DPS will wait until his marks have faded and will then move on to Rivendare. RIVENDARE DIES. If necessary, the melee tanks can still alternate Rivendare to alternate corners to avoid stacking too many debuffs, but the DPS will still take extra marks. At this point in time, a spare ranged DPS can head back to Blaumeux and offer some transition rotation relief to the ranged tanks.


Step 4

With Rivendare and Thane dead, the two melee tanks and the DPS let their debuffs drop and then run to the back of the chamber to help kill Blaumeux. DPS now needs to watch out for the dreaded Void Zones and for realz tanks can take over. If Blaumeux does not die after three marks have been applied, the tanks and DPS need to rotate to Zeleik and repeat. Because Blaumeux casts marks at a lower frequency than Kor’Thazz or Rivendare, it’s likely that you’ll kill her without needing to switch again.


Step 5

Ding dong, the bitch is dead! All healers and DPS move onto Zel and kill him. Stay spread out.


Step 6

Collect loot.



Swinging both ways: pussy one day, bare the next.

Posted in WotLK on Oct 03, 2008 with 7 Comments →

According to a recent blue post, spec switching is going to happen. Tigole says:

We’re defintiely [sic] pursuing the ability to switch specs. The details are still being debated internally but we do have plans that would allow for players to switch between specs.

He goes on to explain that this functionality likely wouldn’t be available at release (although really, would you even need it before you’re 80?) and would probably be included in a subsequent patch. While I’m clearly excited about making a switch from tanking to DPS in the blink of an eye (without having to compromise and consolidate talent points), this would also allow dr00ds to swing back and forth from Restoration to Balance, Balance to Feral, Feral to Resto, PVE to PVP—you get the picture. I also think this will help fill gaps in raiding, especially for those sexy 10 man progression guilds that are forming up. Sally Healerbot out for the evening but you have a surplus of tanks? Opt out of a beatdown and get your paws on some wood!

Finally, a change well worth waiting for. 

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